Choosing the self

One of the things I ought to do this year was to taking care of the self – me. When it was the beginning of January, I had to think and act as to what I wanted to do with my life. Of course, one of the things was to be happy and make decisions that will make me happy. For such a long time, I have always pleased other people and make them happy at my expense and this year, I told myself that it won’t happen again.

Alas, it did. The cycle of making other people happy and allowing the self to take a backseat was surfacing again. The thing with me is that once you grip my emotional side, and allow me to empathize with you, you’ve got me! That’s all it took for others and that is what is currently being used against me. I hate it and I always get the end of the stick.

However, I have to re-think about my life and the happiness that other people thrive on at my expense except for my own good. I’ve had to work out a strategy which I hope I will use and here it goes:

Stand your ground:

At first, I didn’t know how to execute this but slowly I am learning to. At times, you will get a lot of people trying to blackmail you by saying you’re unfair, but ask them: Is it fair that you are willing to ignore your feeling and go against it? Trust me, this is not easy. I have had people saying ‘what I was doing was wrong and blah, blah, blah… believe, if they love you, they will love you enough to accept your decision.

Learn to say No:

Another thing I am struggling to execute even today. I haven’t yet mastered the art of saying no completely. (Although I can say NO to inappropriate things). As much as I try to, once someone pleads and they are on their knees I eventually give in. As I have said, we are talking all things appropriate.

Be strong:

I know some of you, like me, have a weaker heart. They struggle when they see others suffer and in order to make them better, give in to what they are asking and all will be fine. I know I struggle with this. I hate seeing people suffer. I’d rather be the one suffering that the other person.  It was like that for me but now I am planning to change that.

Pro-choice:

Allow yourself to make the decisions that you think are beneficial to you. Do not make decisions purely based on the fact that you might lose out at the end or people might judge you for your treacherous actions. Be true to the self as that will bring content and self-fulfilment. Choose the self first.